


Enka

by Bad_Romance



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Bad Attitudes, F/M, Questionable Coping Methods, Rating May Change, Trouble-Making, dominant female, original side character, over-used "zim finds out he's defective" bit, punk kids, they're in high school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-05-31 23:21:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6491560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bad_Romance/pseuds/Bad_Romance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since discovering his race abandoned him Zim's been more dysfunctional than usual, making trouble for Dib and therefore, trouble for Gaz.<br/>None of Gaz's usual means of shutting Dib up are working anymore so she decided to go to the source, Zim, and resolve the issue.<br/>Once Gaz discovers his emotional turmoils from deeply-ingrained cultural rejection she decides to help him cope the way Earth kids do. With rebellion, loud music, and reckless sexual exploration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Officially Dib's Fault

Normally I wouldn’t have paid attention to anything as insignificant as Zim’s mood, but it’s really starting to affect my life. It’s a chain reaction, really. Zim starts acting even a degree different than usual and then Dib almost talks my ear off about it until I threaten to tear off his first. Then he seems to forget that after around two days and starts to monologue around me again.

This time is especially bad because Zim isn’t just a degree or two off. He’s completely flown off the handle. So much so that the entire school has noticed and is forming a wider circle around him than they make around me. Which means Dib’s been in “code red” mode for over a week now and it needs to stop before I have to actually show him the meaning of terror. Since the usual ass-kicking doesn’t seem to be getting through to my unusually neurotic brother I have to do the unthinkable.

Go talk to Zim and ask what is going on.

You did this Dib. You forced me to go talk to Zim about his feelings. Whatever happens after this is officially your fault.

The last thing I want to do was go out of my way to talk to him though, so I figure I’ll ditch Dib at lunch tomorrow and do it then, but then I have a stroke of luck. Kind of.

This afternoon I was assigned to Strike Three detention. Otherwise known as the End. If I screw up after this, that’s it, Underground classes. How did I let myself get so close, you ask? Well, I never showed up to regular detention, then they threatened to get my Dad involved and that’s how I got into Strike Two. Now, after convincing my English teacher’s wife to finally divorce his lame ass, I’ve been sent to Strike Three. Personally I think that it’s bullshit because really, I saved both of them years of emotional damage before it ended violently by simply revealing the reality of their relationship. Also, she can do better.

Regardless, here I am in Strike Three with all of my fellow dumb ass convicts who got caught, wondering if my life would be more interesting if I got sent into the Underground classes on purpose, when in walks the little string bean.

He’s brooding right now, but this morning he was too bat-shit for his mostly desensitized class. I had no idea anyone could throw a used spit-ball _through_ a kid’s eye. Or that telling the guidance counselor his yellow tie was ugly would make him shed real tears.

There’s only two other students in Strike Three with us. One is the most embarrassing wannabe gangster I’ve ever seen and he looks like he’s going to cry and piss himself any second out of sheer fear. He’s been on the phone with his mom for the past few minutes and by the sound of it she’s an attorney. Which means he’s in no danger of being sent to the Underground.

The other is a boy with bright red hair and enough facial piercings to be in a metal band. I don’t know how he got himself put here, but he keeps cracking jokes about the Underground classes to the rich gangster kid, bringing him closer to tears and loving every minute of it.

Since there’s so few of us there’s plenty of room and therefore no reason for Zim to sit anywhere near me, so he doesn’t. He sits himself in the back left corner of the room and after a few minutes I reluctantly leave my seat in the middle-right side of the room and sit myself at the desk in front of him instead.

Instead of ignoring me to continue pouting like I half expect him to he jumps. Startled by my presence like he didn’t even realize I was there.  

“Dib-sister! What are you doing here?!” He shouts at me after recovering. I lean away from the volume of his voice and swallow my temper a bit before replying.

“They say no good deed goes unpunished.” I say. Before he can question me I interrupt him. “Lower your voice, I’m right in front of you and can hear you fine. And call me Gaz already.”

He glowers at me for interrupting him but surprisingly doesn’t really reply. He just looks away and grumbles some things in what I assume is Irken – talking to himself as if I’m not there. Something is definitely wrong with him, and not in the usual way.

Even though I can’t understand him, I don’t like his tone. I growl at him to shut him up.

“Why did you come sit with Zim anyway?” He snaps at me. He bounces back on me way more than our fellow students and it’s starting to really piss me off.

“Because you’ve been having psychotic mood swings and it’s driving Dib crazier, and that means it’s driving me crazier. I don’t know what you’re going through but sort it out already before I make your life a hell of a lot worse.” Zim scoffs at me.

He _scoffs_.

“Please Dib-sister. You may be powerful and frightening normally, but there’s nothing you can threaten Zim with anymore. No matter how hard Zim tries, this pathetic institution cannot doll out sufficient punishment and neither can you.”

My jaw drops, and it is in this moment that I notice the room is silent. The rich gangster’s whimpers have stopped, the red head’s taunts have stopped, and they are both looking at me and Zim. The rich kid looks shocked and frightened and the redhead looks riveted.

I quickly recover from the shock and grab Zim’s head with my hands. Since I’m still pissed beyond words actions will have to do for now. I slam Zim’s head down into his desk face first with an impressive amount of violence, even for me, and let it bounce off the surface. Behind me the rich kid lets out a little shriek of fright and the red head experiences a short burst of hysterical laughter.

Before Zim fully recovers from the shock and pain of a possible concussion and a likely broken nose if he had one I grab him by his collar and yank his face close to mine. His eyes are dazed, alarmed, and completely void of their previous emotional fog. Good, it’s a start.

“ _I don’t know what the fuck drove you to be_ this _suicidal, but I swear to you I can show you punishment it that’s what you’re looking for. Watch your tone around me, insect._ ”

Then, Zim surprises me yet again.

“… Zim would like to invite Miss Gaz over after detention.” He says, barely louder than a whisper. He’s got a look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before and it takes an immense amount of self-control to not leap away from him.

I force myself to maintain eye contact and slowly let go of his shirt.

“Fine… But only because I can understand not wanting to have a serious talk in front of an audience,” I rudely gesture to the two boys on our right, “and because Miss Gaz is an improvement.” Now that my problem is at least set up to be solved I turn away from him. I pull out my notebook and doodle to make the next hour pass quicker, trying to ignore Zim’s eyes burning holes in my neck and the stupid grin of the red-head who’s looking at me like I’m his soulmate.

When the latch on the door finally releases and us maximum security students are set free for the evening I pack up and walk with Zim out the door, only for us to be shortly stopped by the red-head who had completely abandoned teasing the rich kid (who bolted as soon as the door opened) in favor of approaching me.

“Hey, Gaz, right?” He asks. I’m mildly annoyed that he’s taking up my time, but so far he’s alright in my book. Zim on the other hand, hisses next to me and I can feel the anger radiating off of him.

“Yes. What is it?” It’s probably best to keep this short. I have an angry alien to counsel.

“I just, uh, haven’t really seen you around and I figured there’s no way I could have missed a girl like you. After dealing with that green kid want to meet up sometime? I’ve got a great idea to prank the principal and I think you’d be interested.”

“I’m not much of a prankster, but thanks.” I reply before continuing on with a seething Zim trailing behind. That interaction went surprisingly well, most guys with that much attitude manage to say something disrespectful about my body within the first two sentences. Spending detention with him might not be so bad.

Unfortunately Zim seems to have gotten a different impression and has been hissing to himself in Irken, despite having left the guy behind five minutes ago. Still, I’m used to listening to Dib ramble on the way home and this isn’t quite as bad. It’s certainly quieter so I let it slide.

Once inside Zim’s house I throw my stuff on the ground and spread out over his couch like I own the place.

“Alright Zim, talk. What’s going on?”

Zim is standing in front of me hands clasped in front of his hips anxiously as he struggles for words, looking exceedingly uncomfortable in his own home.

But I’m losing my patience.

“Spit it out already!” I bark at him. He jumps a bit and then stammers out.

“Dib-sister… Z-Zim is about to share some very confidential information. You will not tell the Dib?” I raise my eyebrow in response. If it’s that secret why would he ever share it with me, the sister of his enemy? Not that I would, but it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Regardless I have to reassure him.

“Zim, if there’s anyone who can respect and maintain privacy, it’s me. Also, you called be Dib-sister again. Stop. You’ll only perpetuate your own suspicions that I have a connection to him.” He seems to relax at this, but is still stiff in front of me when he confesses.

“Gaz, it is recently come to my attention that… My home planet has abandoned me. Zim… Zim is a defective.”


	2. The Good Parts of Life Come From Being Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy the newest installment :)

Zim confessed everything to me, and when I say everything, I’m not kidding. I’m convinced he just spilled everything that’s been plaguing him since he came to Earth. It’s been hours and I’ve only interrupted him so far to ask him to sit in an uncharacteristic display of sympathy. I expected him to take a seat on the couch next to me, but instead he sits on his knees on the floor in front of me and hasn’t moved an inch. He tells me all about his planet’s rejection of him due to his height despite his stupendous (bat-shit crazy) displays of destructive power, his struggles to live on Earth, and dedication to his mission which has all turned out to be a lie. His life has just proven to be one bad joke. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s handling this as well as he is.

I’m not really surprised by any of this. Sure, I never spent enough time thinking about Zim and his situation before to really guess this, but with the power of hindsight it all makes sense. I actually learn quite a few things about his planet’s culture during this little counseling session of ours. Some things I already knew from Dib, such as his leaders just being taller than everyone else, but the new information I do receive Dib would do anything for. For all the things I do learn – how Irkens are mostly manufactured, the Control Brain, some Pak basics – one thing still eludes me.

Why the fuck is he telling me this?

Some of this information seems pretty sensitive. What is going on here? We were never very close and the extent of our getting along has always been staying out of each other’s way. I had not prepared for this when I had decided to approach him.

The sun is starting to set and he’s gone quiet now, head bowed and eyes downcast. His hands are in his lap and he’s been fidgeting and tugging on his uniform like crazy, a stark contrast to the disciplinary programming of his species. For the first time, I do actually feel bad for Zim. Everyone faces rejection and disappointments in life, that I’m sure of, and everyone has to learn to cope with it in their own way. But I guess that’s something no Irken is every taught.

“Zim,” I call his attention with all of the calm confidence I have, “Thank you for sharing this.” I’m not really as awful as I act, and I think he understands that. Still, he does not look at me. I don’t make him. “But why did you tell me?”

He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and I start to wonder if I should leave to give him space, but then he speaks up.

“… Zim told Miss Gaz because she asked.” He says softly, but so clearly I could never mishear.

“What do you mean?” I pry. “You would’ve told anyone who asked?”

Zim takes a deep breath. “Mostly likely, yes.” He raises his gaze to meet mine. “However, Zim is now glad Gaz was the one to ask.”

My blood runs cold at his answer, but then I am struck by a hot rush of anger.

“Fuck yeah it was a good thing I asked first! Why the fuck would you have just told anyone who asked?! You can’t be so stupid that you don’t understand how dangerous that could’ve been! People around here might be stupid but you could’ve been taken away! Maybe not because they would believe you, but certainly because they’d think you were out of your mind! And on top of being crazy you’ve committed multiple crimes! Who knows what would have happened if you-” In my rage I’ve left my seat to stand over Zim as I shout at him. I stop his well-deserved chewing-out for his lack of self-preservation when I realize what I’m doing. Now that I’ve snapped out of my rant I notice his expression. He looks startled to say the least, but his eyes are wide with something else and his mouth has gone soft. He’s completely stopped fidgeting and stares openly at me with rapt attention.

I let out a heavy sigh and run my hands through my hair. “That’s idiotic and you know it. Don’t just tell anyone who asks shit like that. I swear, no human would or should dump the kind of emotional wreckage you told me onto just anyone who asks. It’s even worse for you and your situation.” He averts his eyes again in shame and I sit back down. “Zim, why would you do that to yourself?” I try to regain my calm demeanor.

“Because… Zim is defective.” He repeats, and it sounds like a confession of guilt. Suddenly I feel as though I can understand him a bit better.

“Zim, you are not to seek punishment from my planet just because you feel as though rejection from your own is a crime that you committed. Understand?” He’s quiet again, and doesn’t give any indication that he accepts my words. I decide to try again.

“… Look at me.” He raises his head slightly, fake eyes meeting my own again, but I’m not done yet. “Zim, I told you to look at me.” His face furrows in confusion.

“Right now you’re not looking at me. The you hiding in that dumb disguise is.”

“I… Zim does not understand.” I’ve always found the way he talks in third person to be irritating, but right now it infuriates me, because now I see that habit for what it really is. But I’ll address the issues here one at a time.

“Take off your disguise. I already know everything about you so get rid of it. I’m not going to talk to you through those stupid lenses. I want to see _you_ , Zim.” He hesitates but does as I ask, removing the wig and contacts and storing them in his Pak. I look at him for the first time in a while for a long moment, but he doesn’t recoil under my gaze. I take a deep breath of my own.

“Alright, you’ve just confessed a lot to me and… Well, I want to help you get through this.” His jaw drops. “Come on, I’m not actually heartless you know, I do care about some things. Right now, I care about one thing, and it’s not becoming your pity friend as your pour the waterworks on me.” He looks like he wants to interject but I plow through with my words. “Yes, I know that you have no water to cry in your body, it was just an expression you bug.”

“Right now all I care about is showing you how to send a big _fuck you_ to your home planet.” He looks absolutely scandalized and I think that this time he might actually interrupt me, but I keep talking and he does not. “No, Zim, I do not have to respect Irk and neither do you. The way they run things is shitty, your entire species is emotionally stunted. I don’t care that I’m being insensitive – the Tallest, the Control Brain, they’ve all conditioned you and your species to take their abuse. Earth may not be great, but at least here we know how to rebel and sometimes improve a thing or two.” Zim’s fallen quiet again. I’m not sure if I’m getting through to him, but he at least seems to be listening.

“Look, I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, but I’m even more sorry that you don’t know how to deal with it. Here on Earth, there’s more than being punished or deactivated. Some people do try to bring you down for being different.” I almost can’t believe my own pep talk, after years of being a freak myself, who knew I had this much optimism? I sure as hell didn’t. But as I continue talking I gain confidence in my words. “The cool kids might reject us, and we reject them right back. We don’t fit in with them, they don’t fit in with us, that’s how it is. Everyone’s an asshole to each other here, but so what? There are good things about this world, and for people like us, a lot of those good things come from being bad.” Zim’s eyes seem to glow dully at my words, I think he’s taking them in. I think some conscious rebellion will be healthy for him, better than self-destruction.

Well, I never claimed to be a good influence or anything.

I get up, walk back over to him, and lean down into his personal space to ram my last point home.

“There is one good thing to be said about the Tallest. I think being exiled to this planet was the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Even if it was a mistake.”

He swallows around my words, eyes practically glimmering at this point. “Zim is happy that he told you Miss Gaz…” His voice trembles softly “Zim will… Not seek punishment for being defective anymore. Zim will not tell anyone else about what has happened and… Zim will think about what you said…”

“Stop that.” I snap before I can stop myself, making him flinch back from my harsh tone.

“U-um…” He seems confused. Oh well, might as well tackle this issue now that I’m on a roll. Dib’ll be blowing up my phone any minute now that it’s getting dark, but this is important. I lean in closer.

“Stop referring to yourself in the third person. Use first person. Be as selfish and self-obsessed as you pretend to be. You’re an individual, not a member of a unit with an identifying name tag that needs to be recited.” He’s leaned up to me at this point, face closer to mine than anyone else has ever gotten, but I can’t back down now. We both need me to be confident in myself right now.

“Yes Miss Gaz, I’ll try…” he sounds more sure of himself, feeding off my own assertion.

“Good.” I ease up casually now, straightening back up to my full height. It is a bit odd that he’s been on the floor this whole time, but I don’t think too much of it. He’s just poured his insecurities out to me, he’s allowed to be small for a bit.

And that’s the most I’ve talked in a long time. The emotional exhaustion and sheer amount of socializing has finally caught up to me so I let myself yawn and stretch big.

“I’m glad you told me too.” I confess, hands resting on my hips. I look back down at him and try to ignore the look of wonder he has on his face. “But don’t make a fuss at school, you got it? We might have had a good moment here, but I’m still Gaz and you’re still Zim.”

His antennae droop and his eyes dull at this, instantly making me feel a little guilty.

“Look, I just don’t want to make a scene or have Dib on my case, alright? I promise, you won’t like it if that happens either. We can meet up and talk outside of school.”

He perks right back up, reminding me of the old Zim who could never be put down. “Yes Miss Gaz! Zi- I, I mean _I_ will act completely normal and no stupid humans with suspect a thing! Not even your smelly brother!”

Aw shit, I know exactly what Zim’s “playing it cool” looks like. What have I just sentenced myself to.

This is your fault, Dib.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm back, and sorry for the delay!  
> Here's the new chapter, I didn't feel the need to retell the story of Zim's banishment because if you're here, reading IZ fanfiction, you know about it already.  
> Zim and Gaz get closer and more OC, but that's okay, that's what we're all here for! No, I will not be writing a sad or emo Gaz because I don't see her as a depressed character. Sure, things'll get her down but she's strong and her personality is powerful! Things will start to pick up now.  
> More to come :)


	3. 24/7 Garbage  and Snake-Bites

Alright now that the mushy stuff is out of the way it’s time to get to the actual good times. Sarcasm. Violence. Bad manners. All the fun things that make this worthwhile. Now, how to actually _teach someone_ how to have a rebellious teen phase…

Shitty music that you will deeply regret later in life is a pretty standard place to start. Time to see what I’m working with.

“Alright Zim, what kind of music do you like?”

Zim and I have moved our little chat outside to stop at the closest convenience store since I haven’t eaten yet, and like hell I’m missing dinner for this loser. I wasn’t expecting him to follow me, I didn’t invite him along. But here we are, sitting in a crumbling parking-space of the 24/7 parking lot eating delicious garbage.

“Zi- I haven’t taken the time to explore any extra, meaningless Earth-noise.” He gurgles around mouthfuls of mini powdered donuts and Starbursts. The very thought of that combination makes me gag. I had no idea he consumed that much sugar but… I guess his sweet-tooth isn’t really that strange. “There’s already too many filthy sounds polluting this planet.”

I down my second slice of lukewarm, week-old pizza and rip open a bag of Xtra Hot Takis while I consider his point. “That makes sense, I guess. But a lot of people use the noise they like to drown out the noise they don’t like. Like Dib’s voice or the mandatory pep-rallies.” I punctuate my sentence by flicking a beetle off my thigh.

He grunts and works some Starburst gunk from his teeth, plays with it between his claws, then licks it off. I take that as my cue to continue.

“What kind of music does Irk have?” I ask, reluctant to suggest anything that might remind anything of his home planet but it might make the transition easier.

He laughs his loud, manic laugh that I haven’t heard in a while – making the cashier inside glance up from their phone into the sickly-lighted parking lot in concern before wisely choosing to stay out of it. Like I probably should’ve done.

“HAHAHA, oh little Miss Gaz, the elite Irken Empire does not spend time on useless pursuits such as music. The production of music comes from much weaker species that the empire has enslaved easily. Any music I heard before coming to Earth came from their pathetic cultures, not my own.”

I narrow my eyes and give him a swift punch in the shoulder for his condescending tone. “Don’t call me “little Gaz,” _insect_.” He sneers as though my reaction was of little consequence to him, but rubs his shoulder to alleviate some pain. “Whatever, maybe music is a sign of an inferior race, but I like it. Your homework is to give it a try. Find something you like enough and report back to me.”

He scoffs but doesn’t disagree further, tearing open a Fun Dip packet with his teeth and pouring the entire thing into his gaping mouth, dipsticks and all. I didn’t even know they still made that shit.

“What the fuck is up with that sweet-tooth of yours?” I ask with a raised eyebrow while munching on my own spicy snack, disregarding the seasoning dust steadily coating my sweatshirt.

“Sucrose is essential in maintaining my energy reserves, similar to Earth creatures who seek out pollen.” He says over the crunching of the dipsticks in his mouth, as though I had just asked a stupid question.

“Holy shit you really are like a bug.”

 “… Eh?”

I swallow the rest of the crumbs from my bag, “I mean, I guess there’s no reason Irkens are the same as anything on Earth ‘cause it’s not like you’ve got an exoskeleton or help pollinate, it’s just interesting that the insult actually has some basis besides the antennae.”

I crack open a bottle of too-sweet tea and take a big gulp, almost offering some to Zim before I remember what water does to him. How could I forget? Those rainy days where nothing short of traumatic.

“I bet you shit hot Go-Gurt.”

For the first time, I let someone punch me back.

 

* * *

 

 

School is half-over and no sign of Zim. Maybe he has learned how to not cause a scene. My hopes aren’t that high.

The bell rings to release me from Calculus. Sticky desks scrape against the floor in the mad rush for the door but I’m stopped in my own pursuit for freedom by my teacher.

“Ms. Membrane, you know I let you get away with playing video games in class simply because your test scores are unmatched,” I roll my eyes, prepare to defend the legitimacy of my grades but he keeps going. “I’ve long accepted the fact that you are not cheating, so I really think you should join our school’s academic team.”

“… Sorry, but academics aren’t really my thing.”

“Please Ms. Membrane, don’t try to lie to me. I’ve already spoken to your other teachers and your grades in comparison to the amount of effort you put into your studies is nothing short of extraordinary. The team could really use a brain like yours!”

I’m taken aback, unaccustomed to positive attention from authority figures. “Uh, no thanks.” I’m not interested in joining the team, I know the other members and I really couldn’t stand to spend any amount of time with them.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Your brother turned us down too, unfortunately. You two could take us to nationals!” If Dib’s there forget it. “Please think about it and let me know if you change your mind.”

That’s unlikely, but I nod and head out, the last student to leave.

I stand on tip-toes to grab my packed lunch from my too-high locker and start towards the cafeteria where I’m meeting Dib when I’m stopped by the redhead from detention yesterday.

“Hey Gaz!” He calls cheerfully from behind me. I grunt in acknowledgement; he is not deterred.

“So I was wondering if you wanted to ditch for a bit and have your lunch with me. I know this really awesome place that’s totally abandoned aside from a couple of guys, sort of made the place our little club of misfits. I bet you’d really – ”

“No.”

“What? Aw, come on man, it’s totally your style!”

“I don’t go to abandoned lots with strangers.”

“Oh… OH, duh, I guess that makes sense. I didn’t mean to be a creep. Haha, sorry about that, maybe we could just have lunch on the stairs together for starters?”

I consider the offer. It might not be a great idea to ditch Dib considering his paranoia and tendency to panic for my safety.  But then again it’s not like I owe him my lunch time.

“Why should I give you the time of day, Snake-Bites?” I demand, referencing one of his many piercings with the absence of his name.

“Haha! Snake-Bites, I love it! Now I’m never telling you my name~”

Before either of us can continue we’re interrupted by an inhuman growl. Of course there’s only one person that could be…

“Back off dirt-child! Miss Gaz has no interest in your _greasy drivel_!”

Here we go.

Zim barks in Snake-Bite’s face, spitting some typically creative insults. Snake-Bite backs off a bit from the claw that’s been thrust in his face with his hands raised defensively.

“Woah dude, chill, I was just askin' her to lunch!”

“She will be spending her lunch time with Zim! I was given an assignment by Miss Gaz and I shall be reporting on it in our mutual free time!” Oh right, the music thing. He got back to me quicker than I had expected. Maybe he took a liking to it after all.

Zim has at this point yanked me back behind him, forcing himself physically between me and Snake-Bites with a bruising grip. I do not appreciate that.

“ _Zim._ ” I growl at him, bringing the boys’ attention back to me. “You _are not_ in charge of who I speak to, spend my time with, _and you are never to man-handle me without permission_.” He gulps audibly and wrenches his away from my wrist as if I’ve been soaked in barbeque sauce . “ _ARE WE CLEAR?_ ” Any stragglers or couples making out in dirty corners have at this point fled the halls, expecting my wrath.

Zim’s hands snap down to his sides in a sort of terrified attention stance that I think I like.

“But… but Miss Gaz – ” he begins to protest, but I silence him with a glare. A much better reaction than when we were in detention. Almost feels like things are back to normal. Behind him Snake-Bites once again looks enthralled by my rage, and a sort of light seems to have illuminated in his eyes. This can’t be good.

“Hang on…” He says, buzzing with excitement. “An assignment? Miss Gaz? Are you guys in _that_ kind of relationship?! Haha, man that’s awesome, I can’t believe I didn’t get it earlier! Explains why your little green man was actin' so weird after you yelled at him in Strike Three!”

Oh no.

“…Eh?” Fortunately, Zim is totally confused by Snake-Bite’s vagueness. I face-palm, feeling a migraine coming on.

“ _No_ we are not in any kind of – ” he cuts me off with an excited whisper and my glare has no effect.

“Right, right, I get it. I promise I won’t tell.” He throws an arm around Zim in an attempt at a friendly gesture but is immediately thrown off by Zim who looks repulsed by the touch.”

“I have no idea what you’re on about.” Zim hisses, but is genuinely lost with the sudden topic change. Snake-Bites is undeterred by his attempt at friendship being shot down.

“Of course you don’t~ Hey man, sorry about tryin' ta steal your time with _Miss Gaz_ ,” he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively for emphasis, “but it doesn’t sound like she’s a one-dog kinda owner if ya get what I mean~ So maybe I could join in sometime.”

Zim clearly doesn’t get what he means, but hisses at him for his tone anyway.

“Shut your noise-tube, the sounds you make when you speak about Miss Gaz disgust me.” I couldn’t agree more.

“Cut the shit Snake-Bites, you clearly don’t know when to back-off.” I snap at him.

He slides his hands into his pockets casually, grin never leaving his face, and takes a step back.

“I do, I promise I do. Your little green dude is real fun to mess with though.” He chuckles at this. “But seriously, sorry if I crossed a line with you Gaz, let’s talk another time? Maybe you and Zim could come to me and my friend’s hang-out that I mentioned earlier? I’m willing to bet you two are some of the biggest freaks in this building and you’ll fit right in.” He smiles more genuinely, and starts to back away. “And I don’t just mean freaks in _that_ way. See you two around!” He turns away and heads to the back stairwell, probably going to ditch.

I heave a sigh and roll my eyes, well-aware that most of my lunch has just been wasted by these two idiots. So much for a break. I turn to head down the main staircase to spend the last few minutes of lunch with my brother. Zim follows me, matching my pace with a certain air of pride.

“Miss Gaz, Zim has – ”

“No.” I cut him off and he frowns in irritation.

“But Zim has – !”

“First of all, you’re doing the third-person thing again.” His mouth snaps shut at having been caught. “Second of all most of my lunch has already been wasted by that stupid fight. I don’t care if you think it was his fault, I’m spending the rest of it with Dib and eating my goddamn sandwich. We can talk about music later.” He narrows his eyes and strides closer, invading my personal space but keeping his hands clasped behind his back.

“Your disgusting sibling is not worthy of-” Zim begins to hiss in my ear but I don’t let him finish. I just shove him away from me and push ahead through the cafeteria doors and stomp inside, leaving Zim behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Now that the formality chapters are over it's time to get into the fun stuff! This is much more my style.


	4. Elbow Jabs and Old Jams

One by one vampire-mutant piggies fall victim to my unstoppable rage as I lay on my couch after school. I’ve been working on this level all day and at this point have almost nailed the pattern of their attacks. My thumb swivels over the joystick with practiced confidence, making my character execute another combo and scoop up a new item that has appeared. All the troubles of my day are completely forgotten in my game and headphones and I am totally at ease. The muffled sounds of the doorbell barely filter through my focus and I don’t bat an eyelash. I don’t even consider pausing my game to answer the door.

A minute goes by and whoever the fuck is at the door hasn’t given up, if anything, they’re getting impatient. At this point it’s starting to become white noise to me as I slay my enemies for the fourth try. The sounds of Dib’s heavy footsteps as he barrels down the stairs cuts through the static of the doorbell.

“Gaz! You’ve been down here the whole time and never answered the door.” He chastises, tone the statement that it should be rather than a needless question.

I grunt at him and we both know his words are pointless.

Whoever is outside is bashing on the doorbell as frequently as I slam the buttons on my controller at this point and a strange feeling of dread sets inside of me. Like I’m forgetting something important.

“Damn, whoever they are they’re determined. You betting Jehovah's witness or girl scout?” Dib chuckles at his own joke and answers the door.  

The shitstorm that breaks out is instantaneous.

“What are YOU doing here?!” Dib shrieks, cutting through my vibe mercilessly.

“Out of my way  _ Dib-stink _ ! Your freakish body and horrifyingly large skull is taking up the doorway!” An all-too familiar caterwauling followed by Dib grunting - I can assume he’s just been shoved by Zim.

“Hell no!” A grunt from Zim this time as he’s shoved back. “This is my house! Get out! I don’t know what gruesome plan you’ve cooked up this time but I’m going to stop you!” Zim? A plan?... Oh, that’s right. Dib’s paranoia and obsessive hero complex is what got me into this in the first place.

Fuck, that’s right. I kinda got involved with Zim on impulse and now it’s accidentally become a commitment of mine. And if I know anything about Zim, he’s not going to let it go easily.

“Don’t touch me with your filthy paws!” Zim hisses. “I am here for Gaz, not  _ you _ !” He sneers, and I pause the game immediately. Shit Zim, you really do have the worst judgement in the galaxy…

“ _ What? _ ” Dib hisses back, horrified. “STAY AWAY FROM MY SISTER!” He roars as his war cry, and any semblance of civility has snapped.

I peer over the couch, not drawing any attention to myself. Despite Dib apparently landing the first blow Zim’s managed to wrestle them both inside. They fight in the entryway like cats, grappling and clawing and biting, with no regard for the open door. The neighborhood is used to them by now anyway.

The pair fight with such ferocity that neither could be given the advantage as far as willingness for violence is concerned. They fight like they did when they were children, except they’re not children anymore. I’m not afraid of either of them, nor am I particularly concerned for them, but they are both much stronger than they used to be and it’s noteworthy. Dib is significantly larger than Zim, he towers over the alien with a solid eight inches making his reach and weight indismissable. However, Zim is a slippery little guy and surprisingly strong for his size which makes it difficult for Dib to pin him down. Zim’s flexible and seems to have a lot of compact power, plus his claws and teeth. Zim surely has more experience under his belt as well. According to him he had entered the military long before Dib and I were even born, but he was always a little screw up and did more with engineering than hand-to-hand combat. On the other hand, Dib fights every battle with a great sense of purpose, no matter how insignificant it is, and he really knows how to take a beating. He’s had people wailing on him his whole life, myself included, and never stays down for long. It’s the most annoying and amazing thing.

“Stay down, you disgusting human!” Zim snarls, having managed to force Dib onto his back, Zim’s full weight on Dib’s shoulders and one arm barred across Dib’s neck.

“Never gonna happen, you monster!” Dib snarls. He grabs Zim by his left shoulder and pulls him down, taking control of Zim’s body just long enough to arch up and roll - effectively switching their positions. Zim isn’t dazed for long by Dib’s force or roll-reversal and manages to move within the milliseconds Dib takes to pull back far enough for a forceful punch so the blow lands with less force. “Nothing you're up to could be good, and involving Gaz is even worse!” Dib rears back for another punch, “I swear if you even think about touching her I’ll crush you! Forget about saving for body for dissection!” Dib’s sloppy form gives Zim enough space to dodge the punch this time. Zim wiggles his arms free and grabs Dib’s head, digging his claws in an effort to disrupt Dib enough to get his legs free. He’s successful only for a split second, having just enough time to pull his legs up, kick at Dib’s abdomen, and squirm out from under him. They both spring to their feet, crouched and ready. 

“I’m not going to hurt your sister you un-evolved creature! Zim has an assignment and I will report to her!”

“Well you can-! Wait… What?” Dib’s posture straightens slightly, confused by the news. “An assignment? What are you talking about? You guys aren’t in the same class.”

“I don’t have to disclose anything to you.” Zim sneers and straightens his posture as well.

Dib’s face hardens again at Zim’s tone and he tenses for battle. “You’ll tell me if you want me to even consider letting you in! You’re probably just trying to trick me anyway.” Dib seems to have forgotten I’m here. Or maybe he thinks I’ve been unaware of all of this. Whatever the case it makes me snort in amusement. It would be much easier for the both of them if Dib just turned around and asked me.

Zim’s sensitive antenna twitch under his wig at the sound and his gaze darts over to me. His eyes widen when he sees me, perfectly relaxed into the couch. He can probably guess that I’ve been here for awhile.

“Miss Gaz!” He shouts in surprise and dashes towards me.

“Hey!” Dib chases after him hardly a step behind, though clearly surprised by Zim completely abandoning their fight. He tackles Zim to the ground inches away from the couch, the both of them amazingly close to bashing their heads into the back of it on the way down. It’s truly a battle for me to keep a straight face

I shift onto my knees and look down over the back of the couch at the tangled pile they’re in, Dib’s forearm in Zim’s jaws while Dib is working to put Zim in a headlock. I keep my gaze and voice cool as I look down at them. I draw their attention by the slight motion of me lowering my headphones down my head to rest on my shoulders.

“What?” I ask with no sense of urgency or even distress. They both immediately launch into loud and detailed accounts of the past few minutes, trying to talk over one another, as if I wasn’t there the whole time. “You’re too loud.” I snap at them, keeping my voice low so they’re forced to listen.

“But Gaz!” They protest in perfect, childish unison. “He-!” I cut them off quickly.

“Do not tell me that  _ he started it _ ,” I growl. If either of you do I’ll show you what it really means to get your ass kicked.” They scowl but have calmed down enough to separate. They get up and straighten themselves out, but not without a few middle fingers, tongues sticking out, and shoves. I don’t mind, as long as they do it quietly.

“Dib, relax.” I start with my brother. “Zim’s not lying.” His jaw drops.

“But why-!”

“It’s something assigned by the counselor.” I lie easily, impressing myself with my quick thinking. I suppose I don’t have to lie but… Telling Dib that I’m sort of socializing with Zim more or less voluntarily doesn’t seem like a good idea. Judging by the look in Zim’s eyes I think he appreciates not having to explain as well. “They’re trying to make the troubled Strike Three students work together on something  _ good _ .”

“Oh.” Dib’s brows furrow and he sounds suspicious, but he seems at the very least satisfied that I’m not in immediate danger. Or at least, he’s thrown off enough for now.

“Zim.” I look at him and he snaps to that same informal attention stance. “Let’s get something straight. I’ll come to you when I want to. Not when you want me to.”

“But-!” Oh the similarities between him and my brother can be marvelous sometimes.

“There’s nothing to negotiate Zim. That’s it.” Dib snickers like a kid who’s sibling just got busted. Zim grimaces and stomps on Dib’s foot. “We can talk again when I finish this level.” This seems to satisfy Zim for the time being as well. He skulks back out again, hands shoved deep into his pockets. When the front door slams closed Dib turns back to me.

“Is that really it? You’re not being threatened or anything, are you?” He frets.

“Does the school administration count here or are you just talking about Zim?”

“Just Zim.” He clarifies, but cracks a smile because he’s developed an ear for my jokes. “But the school administration might be worse.”

“I’m not in any danger Dib, I promise.” I say, my voice smooth and crisp with decisiveness as I slide my headphones back on. If there’s one thing I’m certain of, Zim isn’t a threat to me.

 

I complete the level smoothly by the time it starts to get dark - having memorized and perfected counters to each of my enemies moves. I do some inventory management then get up to stretch, thinking about taking a break to eat and shower as my eyes roam over the living room. Everything is as it should be, familiar clutter and carpet stains unnoticeable to me, but then my peripheral vision catches something out the window.

Something little and green peering in.

My eyes widen in disbelief, but I’m not mistaken. I rush out the front door in time to see Zim jump away from the window and face me with a defensive, yet submissive stance.

“What the hell are you doing here? It’s been hours!” I demand.

“But, but Miss Gaz- You said to report when you finished that game level!”

“No, Zim I-” I sigh in exasperation, I guess I did say something like that. “I didn’t mean sit here as wait for me to finish, I meant go home and I’d come see you when I was ready.”

“But would that not take longer? This way there is no time wasted while you walk to Zim’s.” He’s right, technically, but that doesn’t make this situation any less weird.  
“Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than watch me through my window like a fucking creep?!” I spit back. He fidgets uncomfortably, and can’t seem to form a response. Then I think to myself, he probably doesn’t. “Whatever…” I sigh, “Let’s just get on with it.” Zim perks right back up and marches up to me.

“Zim- I mean, I spent hours searching human music and it’s historical changes!” He boasts. I turn to walk in the direction of his house and he follows without question. “It is a particularly astounding waste of time, energy, resources, and what minimal intelligence humankind possesses.”

I roll my eyes at this. “Find anything interesting?”

“Oh yes, a few things.” He nods, mostly to himself, and seems very proud. I guess he did put a lot of effort in this… weirdly enough. But when he decides take on a task there’s nothing that can deter him. I think he’s happy to have gotten another mission of sorts. “I will reveal to you the more superior types of human music when we arrive at my base. Miss Gaz will be pleased to see the results of my work.” I swear, he really is talking to himself half the time.

“Yeah, well  _  Miss Gaz _ will be the judge of that.” We walk the rest of the way in silence, I try to ignore the dumb grin he has on the whole time.

We get to his house and he rushes ahead to open the door for me, swiftly kicking the robo-parents out of the way before they can even finish saying “welcome.”

Inside I once again make myself at home on his couch. He instructs his computer to retrieve the files of music that he has apparently saved, who does so with a fair amount of sarcasm, when I suddenly realize something that I truthfully should’ve noticed right away.

“Zim… Where’s Gir?”

Zim freezes, not looking at me and not responding. The silence soon becomes hard for me to stomach, his petrified body language even more so. I let a few minutes pass, telling myself that maybe he just needs time to collect himself. Eventually I realize that he’s not even close to talking. He hasn’t even blinked. He’s just been staring at the floor. I steel myself and break the silence, accepting the fact that he needs me to.

“... Come here.” I say, adopting the same soft, but solid voice I had used on him before. This time I extend my arms towards him, palms tilted up and out. Zim jerks when he hears me and blinks hard a few times. Slowly he approaches me, arms clenched around his midsection as though he feels sick. He stops about three feet in front of me.

“Come on.” I try again and gesture for him to get closer, not quite sure what I’m going to do myself. I’ve been through some tough times of my own, but I always dealt with them in my own head - so I’m not quite sure how to talk someone through… Whatever it is that happened. But by the way Zim’s acting, it seems like he’s suffered a loss.

Zim looks conflicted at first, brow pinching as he stares at the floor. Eventually, he does come to me. I have just invited someone to come into my space, and they have. Two things that I’ve never even considered before. I don’t really know why. Maybe I feel worse for Zim than I first thought, maybe it’s okay because he’s not human.

I ignore those feelings for the time being.

I raise my arms slowly, giving Zim plenty of time to react, and gently place my hands on his shoulders. I press down carefully, signaling him to kneel down to my level. He doesn’t resist. Zim sits on his knees in front of me, his head still bowed so he is now starring at my lap rather than his ugly tiled floor. Again I move my hands, still slowly, up to his head. I slide off his wig, but he doesn’t tense like I thought he would. He just removes his contacts. I let my hands fall away from him, tossing the wig onto the floor next to him.

“It’s okay, Zim. Tell me what happened. You know you can.”

His jaw clenches and his claws knot around themselves in his lap in his lap, but at least he does open up to me after another few minutes.

“I… I disassembled my standard issue robot.” This surprises me. I know Gir’s been a pain in the neck to Zim for a long time but for some reason it’s hard to imagine him ever getting rid of Gir.

“Why?” I ask, masking my surprise in hopes of easing Zim’s nerves.

“Gir was… Was just some junk that the Tallest threw at me as a joke. When I found out I… I was so angry. So angry and…” He swallows hard and takes a deep breath before continuing. “And Gir was just like me. Something worthless that the Tallest sent off for a laugh. I couldn’t look at Gir anymore knowing that! So I… I did what should be done to all defectives before they ever get the chance to realize what they are.” Zim whispers, and I think he’d be crying if he could.

Zim disassembled Gir as… Well, almost as a way to project his suicide with the excuse that it was merciful because of how much pain he was in. But it’s clear that he regrets it now.

I think for a moment. before deciding what to say.

“When you’re ready we can reassemble Gir together.”

His breath hitches and finally he looks at me.

“But… Even if we do put him back together it won’t be the same... Gir… We can’t make him like he was. I took him apart. I saw what a random mess his head was.” He scratches at his own hands and arms anxiously. “We can’t possibly recreate that.” 

I hold his gaze and speak slowly, fully aware of the multi-layered conversation that’s happening. “So what if it’s not the same? This time Gir will be renewed as your creation, not your leaders. I’ll help you pick up the pieces.”

His eyes snap back down and he seems almost angry. “I can’t ask you to do that!”

I smirk a bit at this. “You’re damn right. But you’re not asking. I’m inserting myself.” I place a hand back on his shoulder, drawing his attention again. “It’ll be okay, I’m not saying do it now. Just when you’re ready."

He nods, and I can feel my face soften against my will. “I’m sorry I brought up bad memories. Show me your music?” He nods again but doesn’t move, but I don’t say anything more. I just let him breathe for a bit. I feel like… This would be the time to provide more comfort but… Hugging him or something just doesn’t make sense in my head. I settle for keeping a hand on his shoulder. Eventually the moment passes and I let go of Zim. He draws himself back up off the floor, looks at the spot he kneeled in a bit longer, and goes back to getting the file.

I have to hand it to Zim, he music picked hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was expecting techno or classical or… heck, even Pink Floyd crossed my mind. It certainly wouldn’t hurt him to put on some Pink Floyd and fucking relax once in awhile.

Zim plays traditional Japanese Enka.

When he said he examined music’s history he wasn’t exaggerating. I didn’t even know there was much Enka recorded since it’s so old and hardly done anymore.   
I suppose the loud, wavering voice of the singing is reminiscent of his own voice. I can’t say I dislike it, it’s actually pretty cool sounding. It’s just really unexpected. Time gets away from us as we listen to his favorite songs and before I realize what’s happening I fall asleep on Zim’s couch.

Before I fall asleep I make sure to tell him that he did a good job.


	5. An Oddly Placed Fence

Despite my best efforts to remain indifferent to this shit-show I’ve found myself in with this alien, I’ve started to put a lot of thought into it. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it all morning. Which is almost longer than I’ve spent thinking about my fucked up relationship with my father.

I’ve been conscious on Zim’s couch for probably two hours now, laying perfectly still on my side with my eyes shut as I absorb the last few days. I don’t know where Zim is. I know Irken’s don’t sleep, so whatever he does every night is a mystery that I just don’t feel like unraveling yet.

 

I think that whatever it is that’s happening between us… Show’s great potential.

 

Zim’s mood swings might be annoying and hard to deal with, but he’s showing me so much vulnerability. I think I can take this a few steps further than I am.

From what I know Zim does not appear to have the same emotional range of a human and it would be illogical of me to judge him as I would a human. He’s shown his emotional capacity stretches further than I thought, but it has stretched in a particular direction. It’s all about him. Everything is always about Zim with Zim. That’s not to say that isn’t a trait human’s share with Irkens, but again, I do not believe Zim is  _ capable _ of feeling any sort of way for others if he is not directly concerned. He’s proved his lack of empathy time and time again, and I’m not just talking about him trying to destroy humanity because that doesn’t even count in the context of his culture. Zim’s culture is oriented completely for service towards his leaders, which he was - but only to an extent. His own ambitions and impulses have always overruled orders. 

The way I see it: if it wasn’t all about Zim, then it didn’t matter. He fabricated any crazy rational possible to try and make it look like he was only stepping out of line for his leaders, but he was lying to himself. It was always about his own agenda.

Individual desire and ambition is a defect in his race.

So naturally, in this moment of something resembling heartbreak, he’ll latch onto what makes him feel better. Which is me. Again, surprisingly human of him.

But Zim’s hedonism isn’t the only thing that’s different about him. If that was the case he’d be more like the competent alien my brother had a crush on as a kid. Zim’s also got a senseless thirst of violence. No matter how pitiful he gets I can’t forget all the torment and destruction he brings. Hell, it’s one of the things I actually like about the guy. I’m willing to bet commits more horrors against any and all lifeforms without a second thought for his mad experiments than most of his shitty planet. He’s like a sadistic child.

Fortunately for me, a sadistic child is still a child - and a child can be molded.

The Irken Empire wanted his selfless service. I want his selfish service.

It shouldn’t be too hard. It’s not like I’ll be asking him to live a lie, I won’t even be lying to him when I tell him I have an interest in his skills. He’ll have the kind of fulfillment he’s never experienced before but always craved - appreciation for his talent. Madness and all.

If Zim wants to latch onto me for comfort, I’ll let him. I can see Zim’s potential that his leader’s couldn’t, and I can have him on his knees more willingly than the all-powerful Control Brain could.

I’ll need more concrete information before I can form a solid game plan, but for the time being I’m satisfied. With my thoughts sorted I finally open my eyes to greet the day.

 

Or more accurately, greet Zim who’s looming over me unblinking, hands clasped behind his back in his usual posture of respect. It’s more than a little creepy.

 

“Ah, Miss Gaz! You are awake. I thought you might be because you’re breathing pattern changed, but I wasn’t sure if it was simply another cycle of a human’s recharging state that I hadn’t observed yet.”

“How long have you been watching me?” I demand with a frown, immediately ridding his face of the look of calm, critical observation and replacing it with discomfort.

“Zim’s been observing Gaz since this side of the planet rotated towards the sun. Zim knows humans typically rise with daylight and he was curious about when Miss Gaz would rise and how.” Zim fidgets a bit, confused and insecure with my irritation.

“What did I say about that third-person shit?” I snap at him and he flinches back, not looking at me. I heave a sigh. It’s too early for this kind of headache. Lowering my voice to my usual easy tone I reassure him. “But you’re dedication to human observation after all this time is impressive. Sleep’s something of a mystery to humans as well. Let me know if you draw any new conclusions on it, I’m curious too.” 

Zim blinks in surprise, but that’s no mystery to me. It’s not like he’s ever praised for all his grandeur. A huge, crooked smile splits across his face and he nods at me, antennae bobbing happily.

“Of course Mizz Gaz! There are many impressive things about me! If you think that’s worth hearing about you’ll be blown away by all the other great things I can do!” He boasts with familiar ease. “I-!”

“I don’t doubt that Zim, but we’ll have plenty of time to get into all the things you can do later.” I cut him off, saving myself a flood of information I haven’t asked for. “For now, what time is it? We have school today.”

“Ten-thirty.”

“Ten-thirty! Why the hell didn’t you wake me up? We both have school to keep up appearances, you know!” I bark at him.

“I told you I was observing your natural sleep cycle.” Zim snaps back, antennae flattening to his skull.

I sigh again. “Oh man, Dib’s gonna be riding my ass for hours about not coming home and skipping…” I groan, mostly to myself. “Well. Too late now. Guess we’re ditching today.” I roll myself off of Zim’s gaudy couch and indulge myself in a good stretch.

“The hideous Dib shouldn’t be surprised that his vastly more impressive sister would prefer to spend time with a superior being.” Zim scoffs and steps back out of my personal space. I grunt.

“I’m going to head home and shower. You can… Come too. If you want.” I grumble. If we’re going to ditch together there’s no point in splitting up now only to meet up later.

Zim’s face twists in absolute horror. “I know very well what a shower is for you humans and you know very well I don’t go anywhere near water if I can help it, even when I’ve had my ingenious paste-bath!” Zim visibly shudders at the thought.

I roll my eyes and swallow a short laugh at this. “I meant come to my house. I sure as hell wasn’t inviting you to my shower.”

“Good! If that is the case I shall accompany you to your base.”

 

Zim lights up like a kid in a candy store when I tell him he can snoop through Dib’s room all he wants while I shower as long as he makes sure not to leave any evidence that he was there. And that he swears to stay out of my room.   
  


Freshly showered and with a fresh black turtle-neck I collect Zim from Dib’s room where he’s made his way into Dib’s computer - a place I wouldn’t dare venture despite my own aptitude for electronics for the sake of my sanity - judging by Zim’s face it wasn’t for the faint of heart.

 

I quickly learn that the city is not Zim’s favorite place. It’s ironic that someone’s who’s traveled through galaxies could get lost and afraid so easily in a little Earth city, but that’s how it is. I try to hold in my snickers every time he flinches disgust when someone gets just a little too close to him. It’s worth noting that Zim had no problems with me touching him before - but his preference towards me over the average human was already obvious. Whether that comes from our familiarity or an actual sense of comradery remains to be seen.

The only direction I have in mind for us as of now is the game store, just so I can casually browse. We’re hardly in there for ten minutes because of how horribly Zim is retching in the presence of other gamers - mostly grotesquely unhealthy adult males who still live with their parents this time of day rather than obnoxious, obese children. Luckily for Zim there was nothing good on sale so I can excuse his behavior. In the future he’s going to have to learn to contain his disgust better like me.

 

“It doesn’t make any sense! How can these… gamer humans be so horribly disfigured but Miss Gaz is immune!” I shrug and don’t acknowledge his odd, indirect compliment. I lead us to a candy shop next on impulse, curious to see how he’ll act there with his insatiable sweet tooth.

Despite the store being on the dirty, as most of this side of town is, Zim lights up the moment I open the door for him and guide him inside.

“I had no idea Earth had snack stores this grand!” He exclaims.

“It’s a step up from the 24/7.” I grunt and grab a bag to fill. My sweet tooth is nowhere near his level but I like to indulge sometimes. I lead the way so he can emulate me comfortably. Soon Zim’s got the hang of how he’s supposed to act in this place and he’s bouncing all over the store, getting everything. I mostly stick to the sour candy with the occasional chocolate.

We weigh our bags with an overly-cheerful cashier who looks like he’s got some kind of bright yellow implant on the side of his head and Zim pays with what looks like a purple credit card - but I’m certain we didn’t actually pay for any of this. By the time we’re leaving Zim look genuinely pleased and distracted from the crowds by his overflowing bag of sweets.

 

Just as I’m looking for a good place to sit and indulge we run into an oddly-placed fence. When I say oddly-placed I mean that it cuts across the street abruptly with no apparent way around it, standing taller than anyone on the street. Like the city just suddenly stops. No one else seems to notice even though it actually runs straight through the center of the stores on either side of the street, and probably does for a few streets down as there is no end to this weird fence in sight.

I look around for a sign that might explain it, but when I can’t see any I turn to Zim, who is also unconcerned with our sudden stop.

“Uh… Any idea what this is?”

“Huh?” Zim looks up, mouth full of gummy worms. “Oh that. That’s just from the very slow explosion I set off years ago. One of my many wondrous accomplishments! Guess these humans just decided to ignore it rather than try and fix it.”

“Like… you set off an explosion that moved in slow motion?” Wow.

“Yes, that’s what I just said. Took hours before I decided to set it off at normal explosion speed so it would be gone sooner.” He waves me off easily, sounding perfectly nonchalant.

“That is pretty great.” I agree, forcing myself not to snort when Zim starts choking on the worms in shock. Good. He needs to know that I will praise him, and later I will make him work for it. “I want to get on the other side of this fence so I can see the damage.”

  
“Of course!” Zim shouts, drawing a few side glances. “You will be very impressed Miss Gaz! This is just a sample how amazing my destructive capabilities are!” Zim leads me into a nearby alley so we can hop the fence in piece, buzzing with excitement.

The fence is far above Zim and I’s heads, about twice our height as a matter of fact. Being the two shortest kids in school wasn’t easy, but at least we’re about the same height. Zim gives me a boost upon my instruction and I step on his face without a second thought to get high enough to reach to top edge of the fence.

Zim grunts in pain and complains that he could’ve just used his Pak spider legs, but I ignore him. So I can already get Zim to do this much for me and it’s only been a few days. Interesting.

I use an easy excuse, “can’t risk you getting caught.” As I hook an ankle over the top of the fence and hoist myself on top of it, straddling the thick barrier. “You can use your Pak legs if we ever come back at night.” I lay on my stomach on the fence if order to maximize the extend of my hand to him so I can pull him up, curious if he’ll rely on me for this.

Zim grumbles unhappily but jumps up to grab my hand. He can jump higher than most humans so he’s able to get a secure hold of my wrist easily and he’s lighter than most humans so pulling him up isn’t too hard. I wonder about his skeletal structure, if he has any. I’ll ask him about an x-ray later.

 

From the top of the fence we have a clear view of an absolutely massive crater, confirming that Zim did in fact destroy half of this city easily. And very slowly just for the hell of it. It’s completely desolate save for the occasional bird, the crater deepest and darkest in the center.

Neither of us say anything for a few minutes while I admire the disaster in front of us and wonder about the darkness that is the center of the crater. Eventually I swallow hard, take a deep breath and speak without taking my eyes away from the scene in front of us.

 

“Zim… I really am amazed with this.” Zim’s head snaps to me, his eyes as wide as my own over the rough sincerity in my voice. “I’m glad I got to see this. I think you’ve got a lot of power and you could do even better.” I turn my head slowly to meet his eyes, so wide I swear his contacts might pop out. “But you could do best with some help to channel this power.”

Zim swallows hard, eyes fixed on mine with the faintest traces of red glow on the edge, mouth hanging loose and claws grasping the edge of the fence hard. He looks like he wants to say something, but doesn’t.

  
“Come on.” I say, breaking the moment and tearing my eyes from his. “I want a closer look at that crater. We can use your Pak legs to get to the center faster since no one will see us here.”


	6. Hot Out of the Oven

The way Zim carries me across the desolate earth on his spindly Pak legs reminds me of someone taking a hot dish straight out of the oven with cheap mits. Like he doesn't want to drop me, but gets more and more desperate to drop me the longer his grasp is around my shoulder and the crook of my knees. As expected, we make great time to the crater.

As soon as we get close enough Zim practically throws me down and his arms collapse into his body as his Pak legs are folded away. This is how he usually responds to touch, but this is the first time he is responding to touch with me like this. I make a mental note of the differences to test out later: the length of time in which there was contact, where there was contact, the circumstances of the contact, and who initiated the contact.

The length of time being a source of discomfort seems to be in line with my understanding of Zim. But the other factors to consider prompt even stranger possibilities. From this one sample Zim appears to be more disturbed by contact he initiated, with the touch under his control. But again, this is just one sample.

We walk the last few yards to the crater and Zim seems to be experiencing an internal battle of whether or not to walk in front of me or behind me, so he's just caught between awkward, too-long strides forward and curling up and falling back. I do not change my pace.

At first glance the darkness of the hole makes it appear shockingly deep for how long it's been left untouched - it would only make sense that some of the surrounding loose dirt would have washed in filled some of it - but with a closer look I can see that had not been left untouched at all.

Now that I am standing on the edge of the crater next to me I can see that there are not only man-made digs done to expand the hole, but also haphazardly placed slabs of wood in what I can assume is an attempt to hold it open, and a dark tarp that spans the bottom with a filthy rope ladder on the opposite side of the hole leading down underneath the tarp.

What do we have here?

On my right Zim peers into the hole with me, but doesn't offer anymore that a confused “Eh?”

I take a closer look at our surroundings, I can't hear anything more than the occasional caw of a crow and the insects. There’s no more smell than dust and a faint trace of stale cigarettes. All that appears around us is the same cleared land, followed by distant buildings which circle the area. My eyes narrow as I walk around to the rope ladder, visually combing through the dirt as I approach it. Zim follows close behind, his head on a swivel as lookout while I look for tracks. An unexpectedly natural understanding of teamwork for two crazy loners.

Around the top of the ladder the ground is packed down from being tread upon repeatedly, and a loose path traces out towards the other side of the explosion’s impact. Crouching down to examine the ladder doesn't give me much information and I can't make out anything distinctive from above the tarp. I look up at Zim, who hasn't noticed any trouble, catch his gaze silently, and jerk my head towards the base of the crater. He nods and crouches beside me. Zim reaches back into his Pak and brings out what looks like pink binoculars no bigger than my palm and looks through them before silently handing them to me. Through them I can see two human-sized heat signatures beneath the tarp sitting stationary against the far side of the pit. I pass the goggles back to Zim and point to in the direction the figures are in, trying to tell him to take that side and wait until I engage them so we can surround any potential threat. He just nods again, staring at me. Guess our communication isn’t so flawless.

We’re going in and I'm taking point.

Going down a rope ladder into a bomb crater quietly is not easy, but let's be real here. I'm Gaz. I drop into the hole silently - completely unnoticed by the two figure on the other side of the dark hole.

Unfortunately for Zim, he is not Gaz.

My flawlessly executed entrance is rendered useless by Zim somehow using a fucking ladder incorrectly. His right foot gets tangled in the rope sending him down face-first into the curve where the dirt wall meets the dirt floor, banging off a random board on the way down while Zim cries in surprise and then agony. He swears in Irken and tries to crawl away from the wall but can't manage to untangle his foot.

A male voice from the other side of the crater calls out “Hey! Who the hell are you?!” With a Hispanic accent.

So much for stealth.

The heat signatures who've made a camp out of the place are now close enough for me to distinguish despite the poor light. The one in front in tall, maybe as tall as Dib, and asserts himself with a confident stride. His hair is black and shaved into an ungelled Mohawk, an effortlessly neat-looking scruff of facial hair, and the black of his long-sleeve shirt can't blur out the sharp angle of broad shoulders or the tight cords of lean muscle. His face is made of straight, cutting lines complete with high cheekbones. He'd be considered very attractive save for two very striking details about him. For one: horns. A pair of swept back horns that curl up at the tips and they wrap down his shaved head. They look far too much like they go into his skin to fake. If the horns weren't enough there is perhaps an even more alarming part of his face. His eyes burn to look at. Burn like smoldering, white hot embers with flecks of black soot. They appear to almost glow in the dark, much like Zim’s eyes, but almost hurt to look into. I don't look away.

The boy behind him is far less imposing. He's about average height and this dark hair is shaved into a shaggy undercut. His skin is pale to the point of translucency and does not conceal the blue of the veins on his head as it should. His eyes are wide-set and a weary light brown with the intensity of a person who has seen too much. His nose seems just a bit too big for his face and but his jaw is square and sturdy. His shoulders are rolled forward and the bagginess of his short-sleeve shirt printed with the words “they are here” does nothing to distract for the concavity of his chest.

After quite the battle Zim wrestles his way out of the ladder and scrambles up in front of me, brushing off the dirt and looking thoroughly irritated.

“Who the hell are you?!” He shoots back. “What are you doing in my magnificent crater?!”

The Hispanic man snorts. “Your crater?” He crosses his arms and tilts his head back, looking down his sharp nose at Zim. “What makes this pit your crater, creature? I don't know what you are but this place has been empty for years. As far as I'm concerned this place belongs to me and mi amigo.”

Zim hisses at his like an animal “It is mine because I-” I cut Zim off with a bruising grip on his shoulder and yank him back to my side, saving him from announcing his committed an act of terror to two strange teens.

“Gaz.” I drawl, deciding to switch to introductions. “Excuse my psychotic friend. As you can see he’s got a condition.” Zim growls but doesn't say anything. At least he can recognize I'm saving his ass. Or at least, not to cross me when I've got my hands on him.

The wide-eyed boy in the back scoffs. “Yeah, he’s got a condition. Just like you Pepito.”

Pepito, I suppose, laughs in a deep bass. I smirk. It's kinda nice to meet somebody who gets it.

“I’m Todd, by the way.” He offers in a soft voice. Despite his wimpy appearance and dumb clothing style I feel a sense of comradely with this boy. He seems to also be stuck with a crazy being.

“I am Zim.” Zim growls, still displeased by all of this.

“We just came to investigate.” I say, absentmindedly rolling my fingers over Zim’s taught shoulder and not missing the shudder that passes through him. “Noticed the city just kind of ended.” Not really a lie.

“Squee and I did the same a few years ago. It's our little home away from home” Pepito purrs, looking at Zim and pull Todd (Squee?) into his side with an arm around his shoulder. Todd rolls his eyes but doesn't move away.

“Well, our place and occasionally one of those friends you can't get rid of.” Pepito grumbles.

“He's not that bad.” Todd chastises while smiling, and playfully shoves Pepito away. Pepito pouts at him.

How… Ugh, adorable. I take it back, they’re nothing like me and Zim.

My eyes scan the room again now that they’ve adjusted to the low light I can see the details of their little fort. There’s a drop cloth over the majority of the floor, covering the tightly packed earth. There’s three folding chairs, a cooler covered in condensation, a couple of cardboard boxes filled with comic books and ratty notebooks, and a partially collapsed telescope. In the back where the boys were sitting is a concentrated nest of pillows and blankets on a small, junk sofa along with… The original GS?!

I shove past the pair and make a beeline for the couch, ignoring the upset “Hey!” from Pepito as he’s shoved away from Todd.

I carefully pick up the device and inspect it. This game slave came out when I was a baby and they stopped making them in favor of more advanced game slaves. It’s in perfect condition! I check the cartridge and… Toasty Souls: Retribution!

“Where… Where did you guys get this?” I ask in a low, breathy voice - hands shaking from excitement, completely unconcerned with the three bewildered boys behind me.

“Uh, my Dad.” Pepito says, approaching me. “He got it for me when I was very young to try and get me to develop in interest in his work. Squee and I were going through the campaign together.”

“Can I….” I lick my dry lips and take a deep breath to steady my voice. “Can I borrow this when you’re finished? I promise you it’ll be kept safe.”

“Sure…” Pepito replies, sounding thoroughly weirded-out. It's nice to make new friends.

I reluctantly place the GS back on the couch and turn around to see Zim still glaring daggers at Pepito, leering behind him. Todd inches over to Zim cautiously, unnoticed.

“So, um, what brings you to Earth?” He asks in a small, polite voice.

Zim reals back physically at his question, jumping away.

“Earth is my HOME PLANET just as it is yours, filthy DIRT child! I am perfectly normal!”

Todd and Pepito burst into laughter, and I even have to swallow some of my own.

“No need to hide it, mi amigo.” Pepito laughs, clapping Zim on the back “as you can see, I'm no normal human myself.” He gestures to his horns.

Zim worms away from him and looks to me for support. I shrug at him. There's no point in arguing the obvious. Besides, I'm gonna get my hands on the GS with these guys.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope those of you that found this story will enjoy it and keep an eye on it for updates!


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